- … McDonalds refuses to serve you coffee because they are afraid you’ll sue them if the jerks start while you are drinking it.
- … your pastor wears a crash helmet and knee pads when he steps onto the platform.
- … you don’t tell your kids to ‘sit still’ in church any more.
- … at the gas station you find yourself shouting “More, MOre, MORE!” to the gas pump.
- … deep bowing has gotten rid of those pesky love handles.
- … your church aerobics class takes place During praise and worship time.
- … you think of the floor, as an old friend.
- … someone yells “Revival FIRE!” and you immediately “stop, drop and roll”.
- … your pastor has a difficult time finishing a sentence, much less his message.
- … after church, you find yourself asking people if they have seen your car.
- … when you are getting a salad at a salad bar, some little kid yells “look Mom, a salad shooter”
- … you are afraid of going to Kmart anymore because at times you draw more attention than the flashing blue light.
- … you find yourself asking others, “Did you feel that?”, and realize that you now experience personal earthquakes.
- … you spend more time getting into your car after church than you did getting ready to come to church.
- … when picking out new clothes, you consider how they will look against the color of the sanctuary carpet.
- … the 1 hour church service that used to be boring is now 3 hours long and seems too short.
- … church services don’t start until everyone has crawled out of the prayer room and into the sanctuary.
- … instead of a “cry room”, your church has a “laugh room”.
- … the phrase “carpet burn” comes up at lease one time, when talking with church members.
- … the “town drunk” is a member of your ministry team.
- … your closet is divided into two sections – clothes that are appropriate for falling, and those that are not.
- … you find yourself praying that the bible answer man will be struck by holy laughter during a live broadcast.
- … when you break a fingernail, you blame it on spiritual warfare.
- … you develop a slight hand tremor, and a prayer line forms in front of you during ministry time.
- … your Pastor begins shining the church announcements on the ceiling via the overhead so all can read them.
- … going to church involves a discussion as to who is going to be the designated driver after the service.
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