Lost in translation: Ten Jew Berry Mud

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The following telephone exchange between room-service and a guest at a hotel in Asia was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.


Hotel:  Morny, ruin sorbees.

Guest:  Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

Hotel:  Rye! Ruin sorbees … morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??

Guest:  Uh … yes … I’d like some bacon and eggs.

Hotel:  Ow July den?

Guest:  What??

Hotel:  Ow July den … pry, boy, pooch?

Guest:  Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

Hotel:  Ow July dee baychem … crease?

Guest:  Crisp will be fine.

Hotel:  Hokay. An San tos?

Guest:  What?

Hotel:  San tos. July San tos?

Guest:  I don’t think so.

Hotel:  No? Judo one toes?

Guest:  I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo onetoes’ means.

Hotel:  Toes! Toes! … Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?

Guest:  English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

Hotel:  We bother?

Guest:  No, just put the bother on the side.

Hotel:  Wad?

Guest:  I mean butter … just put it on the side.

Hotel:  Copy?

Guest:  Sorry?

Hotel:  Copy … tea … mill?

Guest:  Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.

Hotel:  One Minnie. Ass strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy… rye?

Guest:  Whatever you say.

Hotel:  Ten jew berry mud.

Guest:  You’re welcome.

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